Manager walks by me and says : “Please take your headphones off. It looks weird. You can play your music on speaker”. I was left with questions. So I didn’t break any rule right? YOU just don’t like it. This has been the theme at this place of work for me past few months. Pettiness, lack of respect, lies, gossip.
There is a point you have to cut your losses and ask if any of it is worth it. I get anxiety attacks at least twice a week. I get into a crying frenzy almost daily. Weekends are filled with nightmares of “I have to go back there” and every morning before I boot up outlook I pray there’s no negativity in the emails.
I have received work corrections painted in red ink like I’m in high school, I have had a superior ask me to repeat what he said to make sure “I understood”. Mind you I am college educated, this is by no means my first job as I am in my 30s. I had been spoilt. Never been in a situation where work disturbed my soul. I now understand what people when they say my job makes me sick. That can literally be a reality. How do you perform well in an environment where the expectation is for you to fail?
I took the job as I was strategically trying to preserve my professional licenses and possibly gain additional skills. I took a pay cut. 5 months in I realize it wasn’t worth all the drama and personal health issues I now endure almost daily.
I have given myself a month. To move on. Thankfully I have a part-time job which has the flexibility of becoming fulltime. Sometimes you simply have to accept you made bad career move and move on. After all had you not given it a try you would have wondered what it would have been like right. I have a few interviews lined up which I am preparing thoroughly for and am hopeful that one will result in an offer.